They've been so many years that my experiences are the opposite of what you say on your blog, or at least they were so. Even if now I'm 40, I guess I have never used my brain, stupid things made by me in the past are a lot and even big for the most, and we talked about them the last night, but the most foolish thing I did, was for me to try to put my ego always on top, on the centre. I started to wander around those places and environments you dislike when I was pretty young, and I felt I was free and over all everything was simply. You do know that I took The Exam and it resulted negative; i'm going to take another test the next three months, but I really am not afraid if it will be positive, because for the past year I've been so careful. I've been lucky, but it's not the same for a friend of mine that got it. I think that what brought back my mind to work was this one. I see myself in that guy, and I won't leave him alone. Speaking of me, I feel like I was in a weird situation, as if everything I felt in the past made me able to understand those guys that live an extreem life as it had been mine.
We filled 10 sacks with rubbish, we cleansed the place of all the dust and I gave him the only clean sheets I found- He wanted to sleep with the doors open. The next morning when I woke up he was still asleep (at 6.00 am al least), I told him I was going out and buy some milk and he answered by whining. When I got home, he had already waken and was washing the bathroom. He asked me "Who lives here with you?" and when I answered "noone" he asked me to let him stay. I answered positively, I gave him some money because he hadn't and I got to office. When i came back at 5.00 pm I found him busy for all the work, the house was bright as a mirror, he had done several washing and even cooked. It was the end of july, in september the school was going to begin but he didn't want to study by all means and if I tried to speak about that matter he didn't answer me so I had to blackmail him "If you want to stay you must study, otherwise you'll have to leave!". At first he answered me with bad words, then he told me that he wouldn't be able to understand the subjects because he was stupid.
He wanted to make love with, he said that he felt like it was a spontaneus feeling and this event made me baffled so I told him I had no faith in him and that we had to have the test (hiv) at first and then again because of the window period; he accepted it as answer and didn't say anything about the subject. The evening we watched the TV, me on the armchair and him lying on the sofa laughing sometimes and I won't ever forget the way he smiles.
Thank you Project! I wander about what would have happened if I had noticed about GayProject 20 years ago...
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